Things you should know before moving abroad

So you've decided to move abroad. It's a big step but trust me, totally worth it. If you're still doubting you might want to check out my blogpost of why you should live abroad at least once in your life. Anyways, if you've already made the decision it's important to be aware of certain things before you leave. In this blogpost therefore I'm going to talk about the things you should kow before moving abroad. So let's have a look into them.

• Sooner or later there will be times when you feel homesick

You might have the time of your life but sooner or later everyone experiences slight feelings of homesickness. Be it missing your family, friends or certain things typical in your culture, it's totally normal and nothing to feel ashamed about. It's not that you don't appreciate your new home and are ungreatful for it, homesickness is a natural feeling that occurs. The best you can do is distracting yourself. Go out there, meet new people and try out new things. Show yourself why the decision to move there was the right one. What you better shouldn't do is calling your friends and family too often. Yes, it's good to have someone to talk to but don't go overboard with it as it will make you miss them even more.

• You might experience a culture shock

First of all, most stays abroad start out great. Everything is new and exciting and there is still so much to see. But after that first period of excitement is over, there is often going to be a time when you start to miss things from home, don't quite understand why the things are done the way there are etc. You start idealizing your own culture, experience mood swings or feelings of depression. Chances are high that you are experiencing a culture shock. The good news is that this only lasts a certain amount of time. It's part of the adaptation process and when you're settled in a bit more you will more and more accept the new culture as your own and start being happy again.

• Don't hold on to your home country too tight otherwise you will never feel at home

At the time I was living in Amsterdam I had a boyfriend in Switzerland. As I had the rosy glasses on, I was off seeing him every other week. Not only was it a strain on my budget but I also felt how it was sucking out the energy of me. I was basically leading two different lifes at the time without fully commiting to either one of them. While this jetsetting life also has it's appeals, it's about the worst you can do while trying to settle in somewhere new. That way namely, you cling on to your "old life" and can't really open up enough for your new situation. You start missing out on things and don't make enough effort to make the new place feel like home. So be aware that especially the initial settling phase is vital. I won't tell you how much you should call home etc. but allow yourself some time with yourself, fully taking in the new experience. So don't cling too much to your life back home because after all it's you that wanted to start over, right?

• Don’t have fixed ideas about things

Don't go with fixed expectations how you want things to be. Most of the time this only leads to disappointments. Instead you should go there without much in mind and let the experience take its effect. That way you can't get disappointed about things but only be positively sursprised. I think a lot of times people struggle because things are way different than they'd hoped. So going abroad with an open attitude is the best you can do.

• You will not be the same person again

I already mentioned in my article about why you should move abroad that living in a new country will fundamentally change you. You won't be the same person anymore as when you initially left. As you have to overcome quite some challenges and language barriers when abroad, you will be rewarded with personal growth and more knowledge about yourself.

• Things back home won’t change as much as you think

Yes, the world keeps spinning without you there but still the changes back home are not gonna be as radical as you think. I talk from experience and believe me when I tell you that after coming back home after 2 years, everything more or less was the same. Of course when you stay away for 10 years or longer that might not be the case anymore. I just want you to realize that in the case that the changes at home frighten you be told that changes might be smaller than you think. And sometimes things might even change for the better.

• You will sometimes feel that you miss out back home

You can't expect your friends to miss out on all those parties when you're not there. Certainly when you start feeling a bit homesick you may only pay attention to the good things happening back home. The things you're missing out on. Social media certainly isn't helping with that either. But make it clear to yourself that not going to that party back home won't mean you miss out on lifechanging opportunities. It's just a party. I mean it doesn't help if you sit at home in front of your laptop when your friends back home plan big things every single weekend. But that should only be a motivation for you to start making cool plans for yourself too. But don't ever feel bad if you also simply need time by yourself to relax because moving abroad can be quite exhausting.

• There will be times where you want to ditch it all

Especially when you are experiencing a culture shock and your mood is generally down you start to question yourself. Was it the right choice to come here? What do I have here that I didn't have back home? Eventually you might even get to a point where you're just pissed off about everything. You tell yourself that you hate everything and can't get yourself to like it. But again, this is part of the process. Everyone at least once reaches this point. Just accept that you're feeling that way and move on. Don't give up just yet! Better times are coming.

• You might feel lonely in the beginning

It might be not as easy as you think to leave everyone behind. Going somewhere all by yourself were you have no one to rely on or whom you can truly trust. It's almost certain that there will be times were you will feel alone. Again what then helps is calling a good friend or just get yourself out there and clear away the cobwebs. Know that making good friends takes time and don't sit there and wait but take the initiative yourself!

• It will take a while to get settled

Don't rush things and expect to feel at home within the first weeks. Give yourself the time it takes to slowly arrive at the new place of residence and start exploring. It's important not to pressure yourself as it's leading you nowhere. It takes time to accustom yourself with the new place and people and that's perfectly fine. So don't stress out and give yourself the time you need to arrive.

• It can be exchausting

Moving abroad can be a tough business. It means dealing with different structures and administrative processes you don't know about. All of this, finding a job, a home, getting a residence permit and all the other paperwork you have to fill out can be quite draining. Even more so when you move somewhere with a different language. Talking in a language distinct from your own requires more brainwork and is therefore more tiring. But don't worry because once you've sorted it all out you're ready to fully soak in the new experience!

• Not all friendships will last

While it's generally valid to say that not all friendships last a lifetime, long-distance friendships can be quite a challenge. Not only is it that you see each other not as often anymore but the fact that you both change in the meantime could mean that you lose sight of each other. The good thing is that soon your true friends separate from the less loyal ones. So it's kind of like springcleaning your personal relationships, as bluff as it may sound. If you are truly interested in each others life you can still call, skype or grab a plane-we are blessed with modern day technology. So try to make it last but if you feel like there is not coming back much from the other side, you might want to let it be.

• A long distance relationship is a challenge but not impossible

Just like the distance will be a strain to your friendships, it will be even more of a challenge for your love affair. For one part it's the lack of affection and physical presence, for the other it's just the fact that you have seperate lifes and evolve in distinct ways. Sometimes this means that you drift apart, other times it makes you realize that you two are meant to be. Be aware that a long distance relationship can never live up to a "normal relationship" and that both of you have to make forfeits. But when you try and it works out it's probably there to last.

• Not everyone will understand your new way of living

In the first place there are always people that won't understand what lead you to the decision to emigrate. Good thing is that you're in charge of your own life and that you've got to make your own life work. Keep in mind that it can be hard accepting and understanding each other's distinct lifes. You want to make the other comprehend your new way of living but you have to understand that it can be hard for them to retrace as they not get to experience it themselves. So be prepared as they might not be as enthusiast about things you tell them or see the things the way you do. I'm sure they try to understand but never try to force them to or be angry at them if they don't. It's a common trigger for conflicts which easily can be avoided.

• There are probably certain things that will annoy you about the new culture

You've been accustomed with a certain culture for all your life then you suddenly are thrown into a new one. Certainly this happens when travelling too unless that then you are so blinbed by excitement so that you only see the good things. It isn't until you are made to live in a culture for a while longer that you realize that there are also certain things that bother you. It’s totally normal then that you start idealizing your culture at home. Every culture has its peculiarities, good and bad, and you have to learn to accept them and make them work for you.

• You can always go back

Always keep in mind that you’re in charge of things. When things don’t work out the way you want them to or you’re simply not happy in the new place you can always call it a day. Don’t think about what other people might think of you but solely make the choices that feel right for you. Everything else doesn’t matter. With that in mind it’s going to be a lot easier setting off to your new adventure as there is nothing really that you can lose but only gains to make.

• Coming home feels better than ever

Whether you are having the time of your life or not, coming home when living abroad always feels good.  Especially when the visit is temporary back home you will learn to make the most of it. Sometimes what it takes is going away for a while and coming back to start appreciating your home again.So from the experiences I've made so far I came to these conclusions and maybe you find them helpful. Go abroad with these things in mind. Be open, try new things and always remember that you have nothing to lose and always a place to go back to if it doesn't work out! xxxthe_escapedstudent